I have decided that this summer I will carry around a little travel notebook. I just write there whatever comes to my mind when I open it. Not to have like a "journal of what I do" - but simply what I feel. Thoughts that need to be said to someone - and in that case - to myself.
"I am not a great cook, I am not a great artist, but I love art, and I love food, so I am the perfect traveler."
Maybe there's a huge difference of how I see the world. Difference how you see it. And how the world sees me and you. Even bigger difference how the world sees us.
It might be true that I see the world more amazingly than it is. And for the world I might be a small change. Or maybe even not a change. But as I see the world... the world has more secrets than any of us. The world will lead your way, even if you are the small part of it. I see it as I feel it. I describe it as I taste, hear or understand it. It might give me bipolar feelings. Some days might taste better than others. I probably will hear one thing even if it scream the other. More or less - I understand it as an adventure. The world is our adventure. Everything on it, in it and around it is a part of our adventure.
I hope that the world accepts me. I think it does.
But even more I hope that the world accepts us. How we manage to take our time together to sit, talk and wait. The world is with us. It sits, talks and waits for us all the time.
You might not know my secrets but the world does. It sees how I enjoy this adventure with you.
“We sit there, our eyes locked on one another, for several seconds. I know in my heart we’re both thinking the same thing.”
Getting letters like this... are taking my breath away. They are worth having in my heart forever.
And here's a little reminder to myself. And to all of those homeless souls. “I think the reason why twentysomethings are so fixated on age is because we feel a pressure to be a certain way at 23, at 25, at 29. There are all of these invisible deadlines with our careers and with love and drinking and drugs. I can’t do coke at 25. I need to be in a LTR at 27. I can’t vomit from drinking at 26. I just can’t! We feel so much guilt for essentially acting our age and making mistakes. We’re obsessed with this idea of being domesticated and having our shit together. It’s kind of sad actually because I don’t think we ever fully get a chance to enjoy our youth. We’re so concerned about doing things “the right way” that we lose any sense of pleasure in doing things the wrong way. Youth may be truly wasted on the young.”
Maybe you just have to live for the small things, like being called pretty or someone picking up the pen you dropped or laughing so hard that your stomach hurts. Maybe that’s all that really matters at the end of the day.
And they doesn't have to be the grand ones. The most of the surprising ones. The huge events and biggest adventures.
They could be those big ones... but they could also be the little and simple ones. When you drink the first coffee of the day. When you share a laugh with your nephew or a stranger or even with yourself. When you stop and stare the view outside of your window. Moments when unexpected is exactly what you deep down excepted. When life isn't hundred percent perfect but you are giving your best hundred precent. Moments when you notice and feel the first summer breeze in your hair. You notice every good thing around you. And even the bad things. But you still will find that being in love with life is the only way to live it.
Notice the little moments. And don't waste the big ones, hoping for something even bigger.
Fall in love a bit.
Fall in love with simplicity.