And I said: "I don't know."
And then I realised I haven't risked at all. Even though he would have been worth it.
Our "almost" will always haunt me.
I've always had this picture in my head of myself, how I do stuff; how I make things happen. How I seize the opportunities and run with them. Living fully. High on life. And it is so. Really. Most of the times.
But then the few exemptions happen.
Somehow I keep pushing away things that really mattered to me. Things that make my heart sincerely tickle and vulnerable. I feel stupid of wanting them. I feel childish. I feel so many obstacles that it seems better to die at home than die trying. I feel I'm not worth it and maybe somebody else deserves it more.
Call it cowardly or kindness.
I call it absurdity.
Is he my paragraph, chapter... or a title?
If I can't talk about it. Then I will dance about it. Real soon.